Hedge Hog Throwing...

The world continues to "spin madly on" as my fav Joshua Radin sings to me...and yet I have not blogged once since my return from Honduras.

Please do not fear, there is plenty to blog about.

What could the problem be? you might ask.

Well, I might say, as I lean back in my chair and thoughtfully tap my chin with my right forefinger. The problem is the absence of three important ingredients of my blogging process.

1. My camera was in hiding for about 3 and a half weeks. And no, it was not in the camera protection program. It was rolling around under my passenger seat in my car. I on the other hand was searching every few days in various possible hiding places while stressing about it over and over again.

Then, last night, I was telling franTesska that it was missing and giving her the basic rundown, (because she is like a cop, or a scientist, or a copientist, and wants facts & details in a very specific order). And I confessed. And yet she did not arrest me, but as I was confessing I stopped myself and said (out loud of course) that I hadn't prayed about it yet. So, as I was driving home after my confession I prayed about it, parked & then reached under the passenger seat and felt it.

I was so grateful to have been able to recognize the worry I was carrying and then to be able to talk to God about it, let it go, and then find it! So grateful!

2. Just admit it, you forgot what this list is about...don't worry so did I. (sigh)...um...oh, yeah!...(ahem)....
2. I have been in hiding (away from my usual place of residence) for the past 3&1/2 weeks, house/dog sitting.

3. I have a lot of hedge-hog throwing* type emotions hiding out in my heart & in the spaces around my heart and just haven't gotten the downtime to sort through and begin to type them out, let alone pay my bills.

So, here I am beginning again,

*see below

Hearts to Honduras...

My trip to Honduras in a few short words was...


...too short.

However, my post about it will be too long.


Here are a few high & lowlights from the trip:

1. Being drenched in sweat by 8:45 every morning.


2. Playing futbol (soccer) with people (read missionaries)...


who would have been red carded...


...3 times over if there had been a referee.


3. Breaking my toe


4. Choosing time with people over time with an x-ray machine.


5. Eating delicious food


6. Eating PB&J everyday for lunch.


7. Snorkeling.


8. Digging ditches, mixing cement, digging ditches, moving boulders (read stones), digging ditches, repeat.


9. Attempting to bring justice to jumping rope.


10. Riding in the back of a red pick-up truck.


11. Humidity, humidity, humidity.


12. Repenting.


13. Meeting a big scary guard Rotweiler named Max.


14. Realizing that aside from his size, big scary guard Rotweiler named Max is actually a cuddler.


15. Sunburning my white white back.


16. Making new friends while enjoying time with old friends.


17. Shadowing my talented & tender cousin Jina, as she treated patients.




18. Soaking in the downpours of a tropical place.


19. Dipping in a cool river nestled in the shadow of the rainforest.


20. Having a little American freak out trying to figure out which of the 30 or so kids could actually swim.


21. Chilling out & enjoying a hysterical game of King of the Castle.


22. Hearing the missionaries' "How we got here" stories.


23. Belting out an impromptu rendition of "I can show you the world" (from Disney's Aladdin) during a squishy van ride.


24. Gathering as a group to witness surgery on Josh's big toenail.


25. Watching the final game of World Cup Soccer on tv.


26. Playing with kids who are desperate for attention.


27. Yelling at kids in Spanish, & actually understanding what they are yelling back.


28. Sleeping on the top bunk.


29. Catching a glimpse of the beauty & heartache of Honduras...and the whisper of hope that God is working.


30. Admiring the driving in Honduras & pondering rules such as "All motorcyclists must have a helmet with them, but need not wear them."


31. Discovering one of my favorite plants that I thought only grew in Papua New Guinea.


32. Listening to stories of friendships forming & lives changing.




I'll leave it to you to guess which "light" are classified as high & which are classified as low.
(hint: only one and a half are actual lows)

Thank you to those of you who prayed for us, who offered advice, who supported & challenged us!

See our transformation below...

before...


after...

Hoping for Honduras

I have been thinking about a passage from Luke this past week. It was one of the Most Holy Reverend's sermons that brought it to mind.

If any of you know my pastor, you know that he is not what his nickname implies. He is humble, kind, firm, funny & a real shepherding pastor.

I gave him this nickname after a discussion over putting "Reverend" before his name in the church bulletin. I was for it. He was against it.

Since then I refer to him as M.H.R. (Most Holy Reverend). I even went so far as to try to get him nominated as the Presbyterian Pope of the West Coast.

Let's just say he was not amused.

I digress. The point was this passage in Luke.

It was shortly after Jesus' transfiguration. The disciples were wondering why they couldn't drive out an evil spirit from a boy, wondering about what Jesus meant when He told them He would be betrayed, and wondering who would be considered the greatest among them.

Luke 9:51 says "As the time approaced for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem."
Another version says "...He steadfastly set His face to go to Jerusalem."

I can't stop thinking about how Jesus did that.

I picture Him surrounded by needy, hungry people, curious gawkers, bickering disciples, turning determinedly towards Jerusalem. Moving steadily forward towards His own sacrificial death. He was not overwhelmed by the needs of those around Him. He was keenly aware of all they needed, and with that in mind, set out with a firm jaw & purpose in His eye to provide for their truly greatest need.

It just breaks my heart & makes me rejoice all at the same time. I am undone by what He has done.

This is where my thoughts are as I prepare for my trip to Honduras this July. It has given me a fresh perspective on setting out with determination. I think of the weather, the people, the tasks there for us to experience. Wondering if my wonderings are like the disciples' own wonderings. Small, self-focused, missing the point.

I am eager & yet a little trepidaceous.
Anxious to obey.
Excited to step off American soil & into a new culture.
Eager to use my limited Spanish & make new friends.
Keenly aware of the great gap of my gifting.
Expectant to see God working in spite of the great gap.
Hopeful of getting to share the gospel in a personal way.
Resignedly cognizant things may be difficult.
Hoping things will be difficult so that my dependence on Jesus will grow.
Wondering already at how He has worked things together so that our team of 10 can go to Honduras.
Purposing to set out with my & the Honduran people's greatest need in mind.

Will you pray for me if you think of it?

In honor of it being June 21st, the first day of summer, I leave you with this...




I hope this summer finds you enjoying some hot days of doing nothing.

Packer & Fred

Today is my last day dog-sitting the boisterous yellow lab Packer. He is a very sweet dog & way easier to care for than I expected. This has been a blessing since I caught a cold this week & have been trying to fight it off with sleep.

The fish, Fred, on the other hand, scares me.
He is blue with red framing his tails, and he doesn't seem to move much.
(Ever since I lost a fish whilst house-sitting they make me nervous).
Plus, his young owner, explained very carefully how to care for him properly in this solemn way. I listened carefully & then completely forgot about said fish for a day & a half. When I remembered yesterday & ran into his room to check on him & feed him, he seemed the same - stable, and hopefully not just barely hanging on.

I am heading out to play catch with Packer, & to play "stare" with Fred (aka "check if Fred is still with us").
I leave you with one of my favorite Get Fuzzy cartoons because it makes me laugh, & I need a laugh.

a good book

I love reading, especially when I get to read something good.

I recently started asking my patients for recommendations since a lot of them bring books to read during their surgeries.

Before taking any suggestions seriously I usually prod a little on what type of books the recommender likes.

Not everyone passes the prodding test. If I find that the reccomender & I have enjoyed some of the same books I am more willing to try something they might suggest.

Here's one that passed...

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
by Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows.

I loved it. (Just ask Roomie - who suffered graciously through me ignoring her for 2 evenings).

Here are some possible reasons why:
It is based on a true place & revolves around real events, (England, 1946, just after the war).
The story is told through written letters to & from the main character.
The characters are interesting, diverse, & delightful.
It has adventure, heartache, laughter, & food with just a hint of romance.

Jump in & see if you like it too!

Being a niecester

I don't know exactly how to spell this made up word., but I should.

It means so much to me.

Today is my mostly aunts birthday.

It is she & her man who made up the word and told it to me quietly in a goodbye hug one day.

"You're our Niece-ster", they said.
A niece who lived at their house like a daughter, and has been treated as such.


Aunt Alyce, me & Aunt Joyce

It seems to be a tradition in my family.
My own Mumsy was a niece-ster in this beloved aunts family at the age of 15.
My sister was a niece-ster of sorts to another dear adopted family (see Aunt Alyce above) during her college years.
& now I am one too.

There is this theme in my story, my life, of people who have faithfully stood in the gaps. Loving, teaching, & inviting me into relationship, before I even knew how much I needed it.

My U.B. & A.J. have been gap-standers for me.

But not the kind of gap-standers that have it all together & are going to show you how it's done. The kind of gap standers who have been open about their own struggles & keep pointing me to the only adequate gap stander, Jesus.

And on this their almost OLD birthdays I celebrate all that they mean to me!

one of many gatherings at the Hawk home.

the small group that U.B. & A.J. facilitate

I call my Uncle Bill U.B., but he is a lot more. Captain, fisherman, handyman, dog whisperer (tee-hee), facebooker, teacher, southerner, instigator, adviser, farmer, risk taker, jokester, simplifier, leader, prayer warrior, & friend. Happy belated Birthday U.B.!

I called my A.J. my "mostly" aunt because she is mostly my aunt, but also a zillion things more.
Friend, confidant, prankster, chef, hostess, playmate, connoseur of all things little & tasty, teacher, organizer, musician, photographer, fellow pilgrim, gardener, counselor, actress, & explorer. Happy Birthday Aunt Joyce!