I am not sure what "owlish"* means,
but I promise to look it up before I post this blog.
I found it in this neato book called 'Gregg Shorthand Dictionary'.
It was a gift from Brother Brian & Sister-in-law Susan.
I love it!
I've already copied out some words in shorthand in my other blog (also known as a journal).
It is a beautiful book, with brown leather, embossed lettering, a thicker uneven feeling paper.
It's one of those books that feels authentic, and smells old - in the best way possible.
Did you know about my obsession with smelling books?
I love the smells of smart, musty, papery, adventure.
(sniff)
So many things to take in, in one noisy breath.
*owlish: adjective meaning like an owl, solemn and wise in appearance
9.6.12
Mumford vs Mummies
Here is what moves me.
This month at least.
Music.
Bon Iver to be specific.
I am obsessed.
Since I have been working a lot of extra hours & sometimes from home,
I log on to youtube,
go to his channel and play all.
love. love. love.
My favorite of his is this live version of Skinny Love he played on Colbert
Where can I sign up to be one of his back up stompers?
Mumford & Sons have a sweet mix of "dance a jig" and "search your soul" that gets me every time.
Roll Away Your Stone makes me miss the banjo that hung on the wall next to the fireplace in our little red house on the top of Ukarumpa hill.
I like them enough to have bought a ticket to their show in Monterey in August.
I am excited, even though Marcus Mumford looks a bit like Brendan Fraser who is not my favorite actor.
The fact that they resemble each other makes me like Mr. Fraser better,
which is a great compliment to Mr. Mumford, in my opinion.
My roomie, FranTesska, & I have compared these two men several times,
and right about now Roomie would scoff, (slightly disgusted in her beautifully regal way),
and say that my dislike of the acting of Mr. Fraser is related to my general aversion to all movies from the nineties.
I would counter that I do not have anaverhate dislike of all nineties movies,
just most of them.
I do like The Shawshank Redemption,
Braveheart,
Fried Green Tomatoes,
& possibly more.
I just think I have anaverhate "strong impulse to avoid" most lame movies
and sadly, for Mr. Fraser,
that is most of the movies he acted in.
Roomie would then remind me in a innocently questioning way
" isn't your hatred" (her word not mine) "of all nineties movies due to the fact that the nineties were a difficult decade for you and you associate nineties styles, music, movies to that time of your life?"
I would probably at this point cross my arms and "harumph"
and remind her that
"You are not Brookie or Al, so STOP ANALYZING ME!"
And then I would roll my eyes so maturely and remind her that
"I am way older than you FranTesska, shouldn't you respect your elder?"
And she would probably just close her eyes for a little nap (because of the narcolepsy),
to which I might add
"Is your stress at trying to analyze me making you feel narcoleptic?"
A pillow would probably be flung at my head at this point.
I am glad for her insights, however many tantrums I throw.
And in some not-so-stubborn part of my brain, hidden just behind the hiccupotomas (I know it is not a real word), is where I like to keep that particular self awareness.
The nineties were hard.
I survived.
Please don't make me watch Blast from the Past to prove it.
I must now confess that there is a Brendan Fraser movie that I actually do like.
The Mummy ,
but just as Roomie might start to open one sleepy little eyeball at that reviving declaration,
myability to avoid avoiding undislike of this one nineties movie may be due to Rachel Weisz, Richard Vosloo & Jon Hannah's acting and not Mr. Fraser's.
Shhhhhhhh!
Please don't tell Roomie,
'cause I think she is actually sleeping at an appropriate time
and not in the middle ofa fight dinner.
This month at least.
Music.
Bon Iver to be specific.
I am obsessed.
Since I have been working a lot of extra hours & sometimes from home,
I log on to youtube,
go to his channel and play all.
love. love. love.
My favorite of his is this live version of Skinny Love he played on Colbert
Where can I sign up to be one of his back up stompers?
Mumford & Sons have a sweet mix of "dance a jig" and "search your soul" that gets me every time.
I like them enough to have bought a ticket to their show in Monterey in August.
I am excited, even though Marcus Mumford looks a bit like Brendan Fraser who is not my favorite actor.
The fact that they resemble each other makes me like Mr. Fraser better,
which is a great compliment to Mr. Mumford, in my opinion.
My roomie, FranTesska, & I have compared these two men several times,
and right about now Roomie would scoff, (slightly disgusted in her beautifully regal way),
and say that my dislike of the acting of Mr. Fraser is related to my general aversion to all movies from the nineties.
I would counter that I do not have an
just most of them.
I do like The Shawshank Redemption,
Braveheart,
Fried Green Tomatoes,
& possibly more.
I just think I have an
and sadly, for Mr. Fraser,
that is most of the movies he acted in.
Roomie would then remind me in a innocently questioning way
" isn't your hatred" (her word not mine) "of all nineties movies due to the fact that the nineties were a difficult decade for you and you associate nineties styles, music, movies to that time of your life?"
I would probably at this point cross my arms and "harumph"
and remind her that
"You are not Brookie or Al, so STOP ANALYZING ME!"
And then I would roll my eyes so maturely and remind her that
"I am way older than you FranTesska, shouldn't you respect your elder?"
And she would probably just close her eyes for a little nap (because of the narcolepsy),
to which I might add
"Is your stress at trying to analyze me making you feel narcoleptic?"
A pillow would probably be flung at my head at this point.
I am glad for her insights, however many tantrums I throw.
And in some not-so-stubborn part of my brain, hidden just behind the hiccupotomas (I know it is not a real word), is where I like to keep that particular self awareness.
The nineties were hard.
I survived.
Please don't make me watch Blast from the Past to prove it.
I must now confess that there is a Brendan Fraser movie that I actually do like.
The Mummy ,
but just as Roomie might start to open one sleepy little eyeball at that reviving declaration,
my
Shhhhhhhh!
Please don't tell Roomie,
'cause I think she is actually sleeping at an appropriate time
and not in the middle of
26.5.12
beauty & the rest
Since moving twice in the months of December and January, I am just now beginning to settle into my new place.
Our apartment is upstairs in this little duplex close to downtown. Perfect location. Good space. Really great landlords.
It was worth the stress of living in a temporary location so we could get it.
Roomie & I have slowly but surely purged old things that don't fit, and added the things we like.
I have enjoyed the process.
I don't know how Princess Francesca (aka Roomie) has faired, but however she feels, she is beginning to put photos on the wall & pretty up her own room.
I take that as a good sign.
Through the process of working on my room, I have realized that beauty matters. There is something in the way I was made that needs a place of rest at the end of the day, and a place of rest to me includes order, color, & memory. Beauty inspires me. It invokes reminiscing, creativity, hope for change.
The author of my favorite blog often describes the conflict between the desire for things to be made whole (a part of beauty) & the reality of a broken world. It has been freeing to realize that this desire is a part of God's image reflected in us. I believe God loves beauty, because He created it. I believe that He will restore this broken world, because He sent His son to do it. I like looking around my room and finding reminders of that.
Come take a tour of the things that have inspired me lately...
a quote board on the front stoop.
the top of my file cabinet, home to some bling & an african violet (which I am thrilled is still living)
notice the grey curtain in the background. My sweet sister-in-law found it, brand new & cheap, at our downtown thrift store. I had stopped myself four times from buying it at Target, so of course, I squealed like a girl. 'Cause I am a girl!
I have had this cool frame forever, have wanted to use it, & finally did...
This is still in process, but I like it. I used some of my favorite scrap fabric pieces and put them in some inexpensive crosstitch hoops I found. I bought the hoops to actually crosstitch, but am using them as deco until I learn how...
I took some more scraps of my favorite fabric & framed a card I like so much I can't ever seem to send it to someone.
I also, made this framed art from peacock feathers a patient gave me, burlap ribbon left over from cousin Jindrew's (Jina & Andrew) fall wedding, and more fav fabric remnants.
A second card I couldn't part with so I framed it in burlap.
I actually tend to buy cards because they are beautiful, and end up saving one or two of them because I like them too much to use up completely.
I decided to put them out since I didn't want to use them. I snagged a black wire angled file holder at a garage sale and have them displayed on my desk.
I love how it turned out, and am please that this area of beauty is actually functional.I think functional beauty is also an important reflection of who God is.
Please excuse this next photo, couldn't seem to hold the camera still.
My Mumsy's husband (Papa Carl) made this chicken wire in a simple black frame.
I love having all my jewelry out, makes it easier to pick out what to wear. For the ones I don't tend to wear, I still can enjoy them. I added a mirror I found at Walmart, placed it behind the blinging chicken wire & viola...Functional beauty!
I have this white milk glass light from my Grandma Ardis. I have had it for years & keep not using it because it just doesn't go.
When I started thinking about changing my room, I kept coming back to this lamp. Because my space is small, I wanted everything to be white or glass.
I gave this special inspirational piece a place of honor...
I am a little embarrassed that I bought the two books next to it because they were beautiful and matched my room. That was not the only reason I liked them, It was just the reason I bought them. I tend to read from either of them, A Field Guide To Western Birds by Roger Tory Peterson & Sonnets From The Portuguese And Other Love Poems by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, if I am having trouble falling asleep. The bird book has been especially entertaining since I discovered the section on owls. Peterson wrote and illustrated the book, but I don't just love it because it has pictures. HA!
I love it also because he writes out the sounds that these birds make. For example, the Pygmy Owl's voice is described as " A single mellow whistle, hoo, repeated every 2 seconds. ALso a rolling series, ending with 2-3 deliberate notes: too-too-too-too-too-too-too-too-took-too-took.
Wanna try it? I did & it's fun!
These three lockets hang above the milk glass lamp & the beautiful books of fun...
The one on the left, a gift from Brookie & Rachie, middle - from Grandma Ardis, right - gift from Tim & Jill.
...which hang below a shutter I found at one of my favorite stores, Consignage,
...and whose color inspired the color of my room.
I have been pretty occupied on working way too much, setting up my room, and not much else.
Princess Francesca & I taking a break to walk downtown for a beer & tappas. Notice the crowded wall behind our heads. Yes, I have way too much up there, but the hall is small and hidden & I have tried to restrict my favorite things to a space that doesn't take over the place.
I spent a hot morning with Tim, Jill & the boys last weekend touring of the Warbird Museum. It is so fun to see Pilot J so so so excited about airplanes. I think he told me three times that day about getting to fly in an airplane.
See Pilot J on Tim's shoulders & Jill in background with Dino E strapped in his "vehicle"
Dino E on the other hand, was so so so excited about walking, and was very clear that he wanted me to hold his hands so he could cruise "on his own".
The adults were thrilled about the delicious icies we pigged out on.
Another fun reason to head out of the work / room set-up cave was to celebrate Dino E's 1st Birthday!
I cannot believe that he is one! He is getting so big which is great & also depresses me to no end. Why can't they stay babies?
Today, I am spending my Saturday working, catching up on emails, praying for my sweet niece A.G. who is recuperating from surgery, & celebrating my sweet baby Sister-in-law Susan's birthday!
Here is one of her presents, waiting to be mailed.
I hope you are finding moments of beauty today!
23.2.12
Girls Glorious Girls!
This post is long overdue.
And because it is so long overdue (1.25 months to be precise), I will not attempt to offer up all the details of my trip to Tennessee in December.
I will, however let you see three of the sweetest reasons I have ever found to visit a place...
Reasons #1 & #2, Ava Gray & Havyn, sporting their puffy pink marshmallow twin jackets in their brand new twin stroller.
These two love to be outside
& I think their momma already loves that they can be outside & restrained at the same time.
Another favorite is bathtime.
This is Ava Gray (pre-heart surgery) with her awesome in home nurse Ana.
Sweetest Reason #3 to visit The Volunteer State...
Rose glorious Rose!
In case you can't tell us twins apart, I'm the one on the left & she's the serious one.
I was so grateful for the chance to be with my sister & the twins for Ava Gray's heart surgery & to get a few precious days with Rose & her parentals!
It is never enough time, and I find it harder to leave every time.
So, I try to soak it all in while I'm there, and remember that I have the chance to be involved in their daily lives through prayer & Google+
Havyn (who shortly after this wiggled out of my clutches), me & Ava Gray (who rather likes being clutched & is sporting her "I can't be bothered to wiggle" face).
Don't let these next few photos fool you, Havyn may look like the ham, but Ava Gray just happens to be more particular as to when one should "ham it up". She seems to enjoy doing it when the camera is hidden while Havyn has a unique "camera only" grin ready the moment she sees it pointing her way.
This is the one of the dolls from many lands that my Grandmother, Ardis, made.
It represents the country of Japan.
I introduced Havyn to this doll when I was trying to distract her from eating power chords.
I showed her each doll sitting on the shelf and we talked about them.
She seemed to like all the dolls, but I think she fell in love with the Japanese doll at first hair tug. I don't know why she did, but I think it is sweet!
And because it is so long overdue (1.25 months to be precise), I will not attempt to offer up all the details of my trip to Tennessee in December.
I will, however let you see three of the sweetest reasons I have ever found to visit a place...
Reasons #1 & #2, Ava Gray & Havyn, sporting their puffy pink marshmallow twin jackets in their brand new twin stroller. These two love to be outside
& I think their momma already loves that they can be outside & restrained at the same time.
Another favorite is bathtime.
This is Ava Gray (pre-heart surgery) with her awesome in home nurse Ana.
Sweetest Reason #3 to visit The Volunteer State...
Rose glorious Rose!
In case you can't tell us twins apart, I'm the one on the left & she's the serious one.I was so grateful for the chance to be with my sister & the twins for Ava Gray's heart surgery & to get a few precious days with Rose & her parentals!
It is never enough time, and I find it harder to leave every time.
So, I try to soak it all in while I'm there, and remember that I have the chance to be involved in their daily lives through prayer & Google+
Havyn (who shortly after this wiggled out of my clutches), me & Ava Gray (who rather likes being clutched & is sporting her "I can't be bothered to wiggle" face).Don't let these next few photos fool you, Havyn may look like the ham, but Ava Gray just happens to be more particular as to when one should "ham it up". She seems to enjoy doing it when the camera is hidden while Havyn has a unique "camera only" grin ready the moment she sees it pointing her way.
This is the one of the dolls from many lands that my Grandmother, Ardis, made.
It represents the country of Japan.
I introduced Havyn to this doll when I was trying to distract her from eating power chords.
I showed her each doll sitting on the shelf and we talked about them.
She seemed to like all the dolls, but I think she fell in love with the Japanese doll at first hair tug. I don't know why she did, but I think it is sweet!
3.11.11
Celebrations of late!
Celebration 1,
A Birthday party for my friend Jessica.
She is tall, beautiful, kind, good at almost everything she attempts, and in spite of her 25 years she will laugh harder than anyone when it comes to bathroom humor!
Tess & I were able to use our outside patio area for most of the evening, since our living space is small & our friends are many.
The weather was cool, but comfortable, and we were able to linger over our meal before moving inside to avoid the raindrops that blessed our gathering.
Don't we squeeze into small spaces nicely?
Celebration 2,
Jude's 2nd Birthday Bash at the Beach!
Which beach? you may ask.
Well, not the first one I went to that day, I may respond.
For some reason I was picturing Avila beach when in fact the party was at Cayucos.
So I arrived an hour-ish late to find this delicious fun...
He picked out the "boo" cupcake, and then proceeded to gobble it.
Once gobbled, he then asked for another "boo" cupcake.
I approve.
Obsessed with food.
Obsessed with blue food.
Maybe it is in our genes.
Eli is beginning to show signs of carrying the "blue" genes...
Eli's "blue steel" gaze...
Eli modelling my sun glasses...
Tim & Jude spent a lot of birthday time playing in & near the water...
we tried to keep Jude warm enough & yet "free" to play...
I think he would say it was a success!
Celebration 3,
Grandpa's 90th Birthday was celebrated with friends visiting & hymn singing
Grandpa really seemed to enjoy it, and sang along even when he decided to close his eyes...
Celebration 4,
The idea of fall has arrived before the weather, but we celebrated in little ways anyways.
Jack Creek Farms is always a fun place to enjoy pumpkins, tractors & animals.
Jude spent a lot of time exploring the tractor...
He also took his time picking out pumpkins, and pumpkins, and more pumpkins.
Some of my favorite "pumpkins" were part of
Celebration 5,
Jina & Andrew's wedding gathered a bunch of fun worker bees.
We painted & planned & pumped up our kicks.
Mumsy folded a bazillion origami lilies & figured out how to transport them to the wedding without getting them irrevocably tangled.
The celebrations continued with a few bridal showers,
including a Bunny themed one in honor of Jina
I decorated my place with colorful bunting with fun sayings like
"Hoppy Marriage" & "We Heart Bunny".
One of Jina's surprises was an enlarged photo of Jina that I transformed into a bunny & taped to the bathroom mirror and then added a "thought bubble" that said "I love Mr. Bun-to-be (sigh)".
My shirt also was part of the decor...
If you look close, you can see two pins that say "I" and "heart".
Some of the things we gathered & created in preparation for the wedding were mustaches for the dress up photo booth.
Laura, Tess & I had fun with the 'staches even after the wedding.
After all the wedding festivities I was able to head up to Fresno
& see the Wilkins & catch up with some of the ladies from my old church.
Smeedekins & me
Monster & me
A Birthday party for my friend Jessica.
She is tall, beautiful, kind, good at almost everything she attempts, and in spite of her 25 years she will laugh harder than anyone when it comes to bathroom humor!
Tess & I were able to use our outside patio area for most of the evening, since our living space is small & our friends are many.
The weather was cool, but comfortable, and we were able to linger over our meal before moving inside to avoid the raindrops that blessed our gathering.
Don't we squeeze into small spaces nicely?
Celebration 2,
Jude's 2nd Birthday Bash at the Beach!
Which beach? you may ask.
Well, not the first one I went to that day, I may respond.
For some reason I was picturing Avila beach when in fact the party was at Cayucos.
So I arrived an hour-ish late to find this delicious fun...
He picked out the "boo" cupcake, and then proceeded to gobble it.
Once gobbled, he then asked for another "boo" cupcake.
I approve.
Obsessed with food.
Obsessed with blue food.
Maybe it is in our genes.
Eli is beginning to show signs of carrying the "blue" genes...
Eli's "blue steel" gaze...
Eli modelling my sun glasses...
Tim & Jude spent a lot of birthday time playing in & near the water...
we tried to keep Jude warm enough & yet "free" to play...
I think he would say it was a success!
Celebration 3,
Grandpa's 90th Birthday was celebrated with friends visiting & hymn singing
Grandpa really seemed to enjoy it, and sang along even when he decided to close his eyes...
Celebration 4,
The idea of fall has arrived before the weather, but we celebrated in little ways anyways.
Jack Creek Farms is always a fun place to enjoy pumpkins, tractors & animals.
Jude spent a lot of time exploring the tractor...
He also took his time picking out pumpkins, and pumpkins, and more pumpkins.
Some of my favorite "pumpkins" were part of
Celebration 5,
Jina & Andrew's wedding gathered a bunch of fun worker bees.
We painted & planned & pumped up our kicks.
Mumsy folded a bazillion origami lilies & figured out how to transport them to the wedding without getting them irrevocably tangled.
The celebrations continued with a few bridal showers,
including a Bunny themed one in honor of Jina
I decorated my place with colorful bunting with fun sayings like
"Hoppy Marriage" & "We Heart Bunny".
One of Jina's surprises was an enlarged photo of Jina that I transformed into a bunny & taped to the bathroom mirror and then added a "thought bubble" that said "I love Mr. Bun-to-be (sigh)".
My shirt also was part of the decor...
If you look close, you can see two pins that say "I" and "heart".
Some of the things we gathered & created in preparation for the wedding were mustaches for the dress up photo booth.
Laura, Tess & I had fun with the 'staches even after the wedding.
After all the wedding festivities I was able to head up to Fresno
& see the Wilkins & catch up with some of the ladies from my old church.
Smeedekins & me
Monster & me
Honduras 2011
Through a series of some surprising & exciting events, I found myself a part of the 2011 Honduras Team.
Initially, I struggled with feeling like my stepping in at the "last minute" was saving the day. Thankfully, God was not under any delusion as to who who really steps in, orchestrates, and saves.
Once I stopped thinking of my own fabulousness (sigh), I was able to see how God had been working on my heart since last year's trip & preparing me to go.
There is nothing like some good ego deflating to prepare oneself for adventure & hard work.
Our team consisted of 3 adults & 5 highschoolers.
Dan K, Dan H, MHR Dan K, Brianna F, me, Kellen H (our fearless leader), Jon K, & Bobby D.
We worked hard doing construction...
playing with the kids, comparing musical influences with the locals...
helping with a medical clinic, practicing English & learning Spanish in return...
and serving the local missionaries
(notice the commanding way that Mike Pettengill just sits)...
I was especially blessed to get to reconnect with some of the precious kids I met the year before.
Here are some of my "tagger-ons" Samuel, Oneda, and Carolina...
Another special treat was getting tons of time with some of the craziest and most creative and athletic teens I have had the pleasure of knowing...
We became obsessed with this little footballer monkey that was made out of coconut husks that Dan Katches (the kid) bought as his souvenir. There were a whole series of photos taken of the adventures of this strange little creature.
Who says boys don't play with dolls?
I am glad for the chance to go again to a country that is finding it's way into my heart.
Grateful & open to a third trip.
I heart Honduras!
Initially, I struggled with feeling like my stepping in at the "last minute" was saving the day. Thankfully, God was not under any delusion as to who who really steps in, orchestrates, and saves.
Once I stopped thinking of my own fabulousness (sigh), I was able to see how God had been working on my heart since last year's trip & preparing me to go.
There is nothing like some good ego deflating to prepare oneself for adventure & hard work.
Our team consisted of 3 adults & 5 highschoolers.
Dan K, Dan H, MHR Dan K, Brianna F, me, Kellen H (our fearless leader), Jon K, & Bobby D.
We worked hard doing construction...
playing with the kids, comparing musical influences with the locals...
helping with a medical clinic, practicing English & learning Spanish in return...
and serving the local missionaries
(notice the commanding way that Mike Pettengill just sits)...
I was especially blessed to get to reconnect with some of the precious kids I met the year before.
Here are some of my "tagger-ons" Samuel, Oneda, and Carolina...
Another special treat was getting tons of time with some of the craziest and most creative and athletic teens I have had the pleasure of knowing...
We became obsessed with this little footballer monkey that was made out of coconut husks that Dan Katches (the kid) bought as his souvenir. There were a whole series of photos taken of the adventures of this strange little creature.
Who says boys don't play with dolls?
I am glad for the chance to go again to a country that is finding it's way into my heart.
Grateful & open to a third trip.
I heart Honduras!
1.6.11
Five in 20
One day after work, it hit me, and & I sat down to do the math.
1 plus 1 plus 2 plus 1.
That's five
in case the hint of a word problem caused your eyes to begin to glaze.
Five nieces & nephews in the short span of 20 months, have arrived into the Whitacre family.
The next math problem I started to work out was how many vacation days I had saved to visit this gaggle of newbies.
I was able to fly back to see my sweet sister, Jules, and meet her twin bundles of squeaks in April. Ava Gray and Havyn were born March 7, 2011. Tiny but mighty (like their Aunt Jill).
(me, Jules, & Havyn)
It was such a precious and difficult time.
We spent a lot of time at the hospital as Julie's oldest twin is still in the NICU. In between the back and forth of the hospital I was able to enjoy some beautiful Tennessee Tornado weather.
(Julie & her eldest Ava Gray)
It is just crazy & cool to me that you can love someone so much before you even get to meet them, and then you meet them & your like "Oh good, here you are! I love you like crazy & now I am going to kiss your face a bazillion times!"
And let me tell you, I have kissed their faces a bazillion times...
and it is just never enough.
Exhibit A:
me kissing Havyn.
Havyn trying to kiss me back...
Did I mention some other faces I had the pleasure of kissing?
love
love
love them (Susan, Rose & Brian)
It was also delightful to see my sister in her new role as a mother. I knew that she would be a tender, selfless, & creative mom - because that is just who she is. Trust me, if she was all those things to me, her annoying baby sister, then those are her true colors. I am proud to say that I in some small way feel less guilty about the "bug" that I was growing up, because I can see that God has used my strengths (read sinfulness) to grow her strengths (read angelic-ness).
I am surprised that she has taken to it so naturally. I don't know what I expected, I think it was just the going from "what will that look like?" to "Oh, that's what she's like as a mom! Cool!"
Another thing that is so precious to see is that God continues to draw her heart out in newer and deeper ways. And she in turn is learning to let the rest of us "in". I am grateful for His love and care for that new little family.
The 5th Whit kid to arrive opted for an exciting entrance into the world. I won't tell his story (or Tim & Jill's), but I will show a photo I took 5 minutes after Tim delivered his son & moments after the paramedics arrived.
Elijah Ryan!
Doesn't he seem surprisingly relaxed compared to the drama surrounding his birth?
I, on the other hand was not relaxed. It seriously happened so fast.
You have no idea!
Which is exactly what I stammered to the paramedics & firefighters who swooped in after I called.
I had a lot of anxiety that increased over the following few days. I kept flashing back to Jill's scream, or to her & Tim on the bed, me running to find towels, running to call 911, running to find a robe for Jill.
I normally love that kind of excitement, but having literally 3 seconds to change gears from "This is going to be a long night" to "IT'S COMING!!!" sort of freaked me out. I also thought something was wrong for everything to happen so quickly, and then Jill couldn't talk after the baby was born & so I had a lot of anxiety about her being ok.
I am so grateful that God had everything under control. His timing is perfect, and I am learning that in new ways these days.
I had some good talks with my important people - Annalaura, my siblings, my roommie, Brooke, God - and by Sunday evening I was sleeping better & really felt like I could let it go. I can't even imagine how I would be coping if anything had gone wrong. I am grateful for God's care about the smallest things - like babies & unnecessary anxiety.
I prayed, and kept saying "Jill & Eli are ok" every time I remembered something stressful or thought of something I could have done differently. Also, Susan, my other baby sister-in-law, encouraged me to be affirming in how I thought through it afterwards, which really did help.
Another thing that helped me work through my post traumatic stress (Brooke laughed when I called it that - but it felt like it!) was this...
holding Eli.
I also wanted to hold Jill some, but I settled for talking with her. She's so precious & strong & hard on herself & honest & cool!
A few things that made me laugh when I replayed the night in my mind were these:
1) The phrase "Babies having babies" popped into my head at one point when I ran into their bedroom after Tim called for me to give him a hand. I realized what was happening and thought "we can't do this here" and "wait a minute, these are two babies, having a baby, shouldn't a grown up be in charge?"
2) Right before the paramedics arrived Tim asked me to find a robe for Jill. I ran all over the house, searching the packed hospital bag I had thrown into the van in the 3 seconds between Jill's water breaking & the baby crowning, through their closet. I could not find a robe, or any robe-like thing, for that matter. I did find one of Tim's flannel jackets and pulled that out to throw on Jill. She held up her hand when she saw it and said authoritatively "I'm not wearing that! That's Tim's favorite Jacket!" Both Tim & I tried to assure her that it could be easily cleaned and that it was fine. She was adamant. Thankfully I found a clean sheet in the dryer and we wrapped her up like a Greek goddess.
3) When Jill's mom & I arrived at the hospital later to bring Tim & Jill their car & bags, Jill was already joking that she had planned this dramatic birth so that I could meet the handsome firemen & paramedics who helped us. She is so thoughtful. She even waited until Kelly (her sister) & I could go with them to thank our heros with a plate of cookies.
4) Jude meeting Eli for the first time was precious. He kissed Eli's face so many times. And I knew exactly why. You just can't resist, no matter how old you are!
Here is the first face I couldn't resist kissing...
(Jude getting his face painted at our little Art in the Park festivities)
1 plus 1 plus 2 plus 1.
That's five
in case the hint of a word problem caused your eyes to begin to glaze.
Five nieces & nephews in the short span of 20 months, have arrived into the Whitacre family.
The next math problem I started to work out was how many vacation days I had saved to visit this gaggle of newbies.
I was able to fly back to see my sweet sister, Jules, and meet her twin bundles of squeaks in April. Ava Gray and Havyn were born March 7, 2011. Tiny but mighty (like their Aunt Jill).
(me, Jules, & Havyn)It was such a precious and difficult time.
We spent a lot of time at the hospital as Julie's oldest twin is still in the NICU. In between the back and forth of the hospital I was able to enjoy some beautiful Tennessee Tornado weather.
(Julie & her eldest Ava Gray) It is just crazy & cool to me that you can love someone so much before you even get to meet them, and then you meet them & your like "Oh good, here you are! I love you like crazy & now I am going to kiss your face a bazillion times!"
And let me tell you, I have kissed their faces a bazillion times...
and it is just never enough.
Exhibit A:
me kissing Havyn.Havyn trying to kiss me back...
Did I mention some other faces I had the pleasure of kissing?
love
love
love them (Susan, Rose & Brian)
It was also delightful to see my sister in her new role as a mother. I knew that she would be a tender, selfless, & creative mom - because that is just who she is. Trust me, if she was all those things to me, her annoying baby sister, then those are her true colors. I am proud to say that I in some small way feel less guilty about the "bug" that I was growing up, because I can see that God has used my strengths (read sinfulness) to grow her strengths (read angelic-ness).
I am surprised that she has taken to it so naturally. I don't know what I expected, I think it was just the going from "what will that look like?" to "Oh, that's what she's like as a mom! Cool!"
Another thing that is so precious to see is that God continues to draw her heart out in newer and deeper ways. And she in turn is learning to let the rest of us "in". I am grateful for His love and care for that new little family.
The 5th Whit kid to arrive opted for an exciting entrance into the world. I won't tell his story (or Tim & Jill's), but I will show a photo I took 5 minutes after Tim delivered his son & moments after the paramedics arrived.
Elijah Ryan!
Doesn't he seem surprisingly relaxed compared to the drama surrounding his birth?I, on the other hand was not relaxed. It seriously happened so fast.
You have no idea!
Which is exactly what I stammered to the paramedics & firefighters who swooped in after I called.
I had a lot of anxiety that increased over the following few days. I kept flashing back to Jill's scream, or to her & Tim on the bed, me running to find towels, running to call 911, running to find a robe for Jill.
I normally love that kind of excitement, but having literally 3 seconds to change gears from "This is going to be a long night" to "IT'S COMING!!!" sort of freaked me out. I also thought something was wrong for everything to happen so quickly, and then Jill couldn't talk after the baby was born & so I had a lot of anxiety about her being ok.
I am so grateful that God had everything under control. His timing is perfect, and I am learning that in new ways these days.
I had some good talks with my important people - Annalaura, my siblings, my roommie, Brooke, God - and by Sunday evening I was sleeping better & really felt like I could let it go. I can't even imagine how I would be coping if anything had gone wrong. I am grateful for God's care about the smallest things - like babies & unnecessary anxiety.
I prayed, and kept saying "Jill & Eli are ok" every time I remembered something stressful or thought of something I could have done differently. Also, Susan, my other baby sister-in-law, encouraged me to be affirming in how I thought through it afterwards, which really did help.
Another thing that helped me work through my post traumatic stress (Brooke laughed when I called it that - but it felt like it!) was this...
holding Eli.I also wanted to hold Jill some, but I settled for talking with her. She's so precious & strong & hard on herself & honest & cool!
A few things that made me laugh when I replayed the night in my mind were these:
1) The phrase "Babies having babies" popped into my head at one point when I ran into their bedroom after Tim called for me to give him a hand. I realized what was happening and thought "we can't do this here" and "wait a minute, these are two babies, having a baby, shouldn't a grown up be in charge?"
2) Right before the paramedics arrived Tim asked me to find a robe for Jill. I ran all over the house, searching the packed hospital bag I had thrown into the van in the 3 seconds between Jill's water breaking & the baby crowning, through their closet. I could not find a robe, or any robe-like thing, for that matter. I did find one of Tim's flannel jackets and pulled that out to throw on Jill. She held up her hand when she saw it and said authoritatively "I'm not wearing that! That's Tim's favorite Jacket!" Both Tim & I tried to assure her that it could be easily cleaned and that it was fine. She was adamant. Thankfully I found a clean sheet in the dryer and we wrapped her up like a Greek goddess.
3) When Jill's mom & I arrived at the hospital later to bring Tim & Jill their car & bags, Jill was already joking that she had planned this dramatic birth so that I could meet the handsome firemen & paramedics who helped us. She is so thoughtful. She even waited until Kelly (her sister) & I could go with them to thank our heros with a plate of cookies.
4) Jude meeting Eli for the first time was precious. He kissed Eli's face so many times. And I knew exactly why. You just can't resist, no matter how old you are!
Here is the first face I couldn't resist kissing...
(Jude getting his face painted at our little Art in the Park festivities)
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